Sunday, 31 May 2015

Gay marriage is important- but it's not for everyone.

As you may know I'm gay, out and proud. I'm happy with progress made on gay marriage lately, but most gay people I know aren't interested in getting married, though we want the legal option. 
Our laws are an international embarrassment, even lagging behind New Zealand. 
This hot issue is contested as political football everyday. Interestingly the Liberal prime minister 
Tony Abbott doesn't approve of, though his sister is Gay. As an ex liberal party branch member, I ran twice as a local government political candidate, I can tell you the Liberal Party has the greatest concentration of gay members than any other party. Hypocrasy is everywhere on this issue. 
Most of my gay friends, single or in relationships don't want to make the full legal commitment, they're just happy the way they are. Gay people have become as conservative as those they seek acceptance from. We want husbands, kids, mortgages, and suburban living while others arent kidding themselves by the white wedding while being in open relationships at the same time. This is an issue the mainstream community can't confront gay marriage seekers on because questioning the morality of minority groups is seen as a judgemental attack. Most committed gay relationships are not monogamous, that's the only way they stay together ! 
In the main stream, gay marriage will be big business for the wedding industry and divorce lawyers .  
I'm personally above wanting to walk down the isle of a church. I don't need to ask for God's acceptance, he may not exist ! Though I do believe Jesus was gay friendly.
Forcing churches or religions to accept us is like begging an abuser to be your friend, these institutions  become redundant in time anyway with their prejudice ways. 
Getting married also ties people up legally and financially in ways people are content to do without.
How many people end up in divorce ? How painful and expensive is that.
People ask if I will ever get married, but I can't even organise a date ! 
Equality is important, it will mean we can all be, for better or worse in the same box. 

Friday, 29 May 2015

The Cinderella Complex. Why are we still single ?

There have never been so many single people. I'm one of them, with lots of experience ! 
Being single is like being unemployed. The longer you're out of the relationship market, 
the harder it is to get back in there. Potential partners are suspicious of dating someone who's been single for too long. Why would they date us if one no one else does ? Do we have hidden problems? 
There's many great things about being single we refuse to acknowledge, such as our freedom to 
do what we want, when we want etc, also not having to be responsible for others, but most 
single people always feel this deep longing for some one special. From the day we're born, 
marriage and romance are drummed into us. If we're not committed there's something 
seriously wrong with us. Now in the era of marriage equality this even applies to 
gay people too ! I personally believe many of us enjoy being single to the point we won't give 
it up unless someone special comes along, but our standards and expectations of each 
other are so high, that person doesn't exist or they don't want us. On a financial and practical level
most singles manage well, we want a partner for the company and to fill our hearts. 
When we're young, attractive, energetic, hopeful and horny, we make a go if it, and so do others 
in return. Guided by our quest for mr or miss right, we search and search. My advice to the young 
just starting out is to get into relationships as early as possible, because the young are 
still adaptable, get used to sharing, learn to  put up with other people etc. 
With romance or relationships luck is on youths side. 
Down track,  if single for too long, we become set in our ways, picky, fussy, like a shopper who can't make up their mind what to purchase. We may act like consumers but upsetingly be seen as undesirable products by those we seek. 
No matter how young at heart we are, time does terrible things to us, we become tired, neurotic, unattractive. We may wish for love but stop making the effort. 
One the biggest reasons middle aged people are still single is because we won't settle for some one our equal, I don't want to be with another average, frumpy, difficult person like me !!!!
The mirror we can't face is a confronting one, so we fantasise about some one attractive, younger, who will love us the way we are...well unless we're famous, powerful, generously wealthy, the chances are slimmer as we become fatter.... 
Everyday online I get approached by people wanting to date me, but when I look at them, I think are you kidding ? You're awful. How dare they even think I would be interested in them, and the same happens to me when I message people who block me, never get back, or just say "You're not my type."  Our souls become fragile. It's easy reject others but being rejected hurts. The singles scene is draining, it does my head in. Everyone is told to look for love online, but there's no romance or conversations, dating sites feel like online shopping. Many people are shy or private, they don't enjoy  putting their pictures or personal details up online trying to publicly hock themselves off like a used car.
There's so much pressure to be in a relationship. Everyone keeps asking, it's so annoying. We're made
to feel incomplete unless we're committed. Society favours the married, yet too many people are divorced. At least they give it a go.
If you're young and attractive, you don't have to want anyone, because everyone wants you, but if you're older, average looking and hungry for love, it seems a turn off to everyone in general. 
Society or the tax department doesn't favour single people. It's all about the mums and dads with
their kids, like they've gone to battle, they've made the ultimate sacrifice, they're more respected.
The ageing singles are silently overlooked, stockpiled on a shelf somewhere, invisible. 
Single people, aren't celebrated. We don't have national singles weeks. If single people said on TV how great it's to be on "their own" no one would listen, singles are seen as selfish, or not accepted amongst traditional family structures, we feel left out or are a threat to couples, we may try to snatch or break up the committed. Being single is a social crime. No wonder people withdraw. 
If we're single for too long, we set up our lives, homes, finances, it becomes harder to let someone in.
We worry about our security, what if they have nothing to contribute ? Will be be taken advantage of?
So we turn to chocolate, or booze to smooth our weary souls. 
I hope I meet the right person before I'm too fat, grey, old and bald. 

Monday, 25 May 2015

Be nice but not too nice. Advice on our manners....

Many days I feel the world is no longer a nice place. 
I can only talk for my home city of Sydney. 
Society is sadly becoming impersonal, full of selfish self centred or self focused people.
This is a polite way of saying - Arseholes . No wonder there's an epidemic of depression. 
People think they'll find solace in a pill that just numbs their half dead souls but, if you want 
to be happy you have to be nice to people, because what we give out is what we get back.
What was once considered civil behaviour has become just another commodity, that's traded for something else or bartered along the way in this competitive commercial environment.  Even though it's fake, shopping or spending money is the fast way to get strangers to be nice to you. 
Employees have to be polite to keep their jobs. Behaviour is economically modified. Then if you see that staff elsewhere they won't acknowledge, or they look straight through you. 
What ever happened to the days when people used to pass each other on the street and smile? 
If you do that now, people think you're weird or you may want something so they react with anxiety.
Too many people in Sydney look like they've sucked on a sour lemon, or sat on something painful.
In Australia we have this deep sense of entitlement. It comes from the loose welfare state. 
Ironically happiness is not our responsibility anymore, it's someone else's ! 
The wealthy are begrudged by high taxes, the have nots leech of the system, so people 
feel it's up to the government to pick up the social pieces, but politicians aren't priests. 
Trying to be nice is draining when I'm faced with zombies who's only love is their iPhone. 
Young people are the worse contenders. Why would they even think of being nice when 
everyone around them is either invisible or a nuisance? My words to them is, just keep 
ignoring everyone in the physical world, hug your iPad when you're lonely. 
Maybe people are so lost in technology, they've got not social skills. I believe empathy and 
compassion is lost in this emerging generation. I've tried to do the pep talks with younger people, 
but they just look at me like they're made of hollow wood... Well actually that's a compliment 
cause wood is a natural product.... They're made of plastic !!! 
With ageing manners become important. 
Life now is vision after vision after vision on Instagram. Technology stifled youths ability to develop 
deeper real life connections. The computers may be on but the users are shut down. 
Call me cynical but I've discovered many people are only nice if they want something, 
otherwise distant or dismissive. We're tinged with schizophrenia. 
Being too nice also makes us vulnerable to be taken advantage of by the not so nice. 
People complain they have no friends , but they've missed so many tiny chances in their 
day to day lives, busy looking at fake profiles online. 
I can't believe how much energy people put into avoiding each other. They like to ignore, but hate being ignored ! It's a power trip which tells us how insecure and fragile they are. 
It's self defeating or just plain stupid being endlessly nice to the inconsiderate. 
The best revenge on the rude is to nicely ignore them. 

Sunday, 24 May 2015

Renovating ? Now is not the right time.

Thinking of renovating ? Now is not the right time. Because of this crazy over fuelled property boom,
tradesmen are in short supply. I recently had work done on my house, it was a total drama just 
trying to find people. Everyone is so busy, the prices have gone up while service has come down. 
Its a problem trying to find reliable carpenters for less than $55 per hour plus GST. 
Also be careful when you hire someone,many advertise their services for say $60 an hour, they 
come see the job allowing you to assume they them selves will do the job, then they outsource 
the work to other sub contractors for $40 an hour, they make $20 per hour commission. 
So please ask who ever you talk to or meet, if they are actually going to do the work 
themselves or if they are sending out other people ? Are those other people direct 
employees or self employed.  
It's a good idea to get a tradesmans licence number to look up their work history on the 
"Office of fair trading. " or similar website. I've learned the hard way not to take people on just 
face value anymore, because there is value out there ! 
Few people know, late last year the laws where changed, a carpenter does not need to be 
licensed to carry out work for jobs less than $5000. This has left consumers surprised or 
vulnerable to problems with little protection. 
Hiring tradesmen by the hour is a never ending story. They want $60 an hour cash, 
plus an extra 10% in GST if you want a tax receipt. That's $528 a day ! Ridiculous !   
They start a bit late, finish a bit early, disappear some times for hours or long lunches. 
Very disappointing. Insist on an invoice before payment, especially for cash, other wise 
you'll never see one. Gone are the days of  days pay an honest day's work. 
I've noticed nowadays many trades people just want the money. 
One tradesman billed me $1600 for building materials, but only showed $800 in receipts. He claimed he spent that money, but I googled what was there and couldn't see that amount. Sometimes getting a list of what they want and buying myself at Bunnings then getting it delivered if it's to big to fit in a car
Is faster and cheaper all over if that's  ok with the tradie. I've been billed up to an extra 2 hours for the time it took to buy the materials....yes that's another $120... 
Another problem with tradesmen is they might start  a job saying it may take one week. You may think it's 5 days worth of labour, but it may take them 3 weeks to finish because they take on so many other jobs. They will come for one day, then again disappear for several days, then come back to do 2 days, then go away again. It's one frustrating delay after another. 
More problems, be careful with under estimates. You might be told it's 5 days worth of labour, then it may end up as 8-10. Tradesmen under quote time to get the job, then once you've started you're stuck. They don't care because they're in such high demand. 
Randomly looking for tradesmen online is like gambling or online dating, we really don't know 
what we will end up with. I try to find locals near my place who aren't too far away, because 
if they're not travelling long distances they may have a better chance of wanting to continue. 
Word of mouth is very important, or finding out who your neighbours use, but in such 
an impersonal world, who knows who our neighbours are ! 
We can blame this crazy property boom for all this. Every day I pray for a crash to bring 
some reality and balance back when it does happen.  

Tuesday, 19 May 2015

Sydney Sorry You're Sold. The true cost of overdevelopment.

I'm disappointed with Sydney, I was born here almost 50 years ago. I don't like where this 
City is heading. Every where cranes are digging up big holes then plonking massive apartment 
blocks, with no infrastructure to back them up. The traffic is getting worse, everyone wants to 
live here, hundreds of thousands new immigrants appearing mainly from Asia for a better life, 
to the detriment of us already here. 
This city like London has become a place for foreigners to park their money safely by 
buying real estate. Here we are comprising our environment for all these people who most 
of the time may not even be here. Prices are driven so high locals can never afford to buy or rent. 
People looking for affordability move out of the city, inconvenienced by distance, 
time spent commuting, car tolls, petrol etc. 
Sydney's existing inhabitants are suffering from short termism and bad planning. We the public 
have no say in what goes on now. The gates have been opened to overdevelopment, 
spurred by banks for profit, the government for growth. 
Growth used to be about about creating industry, now it's for the global movement of money. 
I live in Sydney's south eastern suburbs, 20 years ago a modest house sold for 200k, 
now they are 2 million ! No locals can afford these prices. 
Foreign investors have created this unrealistic, unsustainable market while 
the current government biased towards big business does nothing. 
I beleive we are in the process of creating a massive  Caucasian and European underclass in this 
country. Once everything is sold off, we won't be able to buy it back, unless there's a crash. If there
is a a down turn it may be one experienced by locals only, not by the foreign buyers who tend 
pay full purchase amount upfront. 
New rules need to be created. A 10% entrance and exit fees or capital gains tax to anyone buying property who has not a citizen or permanent resident.  This money would go into infrastructure, and fund affordable housing for those that can't get into the market. 
We have to ask our selves as a community if all this pollution, traffic, density, anxiety really is growth? 
Maybe for businesses, developers, banks, government, but it's not personal or community growth. 

40% of people won't live with Gay men.

 40% of the general population will not consider living with openly Gay men. 
I found this out by placing advertisements on the most popular share accomodation site Gumtree. 
Initially the add title said "Share gay friendly house" would get 30 - 40 hits a day.
When I changed the add to say just "Share house " would get up to or over 70 hits per day.
I find this a very interesting Freudiant slip in 2015....especially when you consider most people
looking to share a home are in their 20s. It works both ways. I have lived with many straight guys,
I never found them homophobic but we couldn't connect on a deeper level. Most where happy to
talk endlessly about their romantic or sex lives lives, but became awkward of me discussing mine.
I do have a personal preference for sharing with gay men, because we have more in common.
I'm not offended by the results, but thought it was interesting enough to share.   

Monday, 18 May 2015

Fabric & Haberdashery store in Sydney is part of a charity.

If you're looking to buy or donate fabrics and haberdashery go to - 
112 Bowden Str Meadowbank Sydney. 
They are part of charity group Achieve Australia. 
Everything sold is given by the public, it's run by volunteers. 
There's a great selection of fashion and furnishing fabrics, patterns, buttons, 
trims, wools, needle craft needs etc. 
It may be a bit out of the way, but its well worth the trip every time. 
The fabrics are mostly in pre cut lengths, there's a huge selection and variety.
This place is ideal for dressmakers or crafts people.
You will also find many interesting or unusual prints. Some fabrics there are many years or
decades old, donated from deceased estates. The prices are so cheap !!!!
The staff there are charming and helpful, they also love a good chat.
There's a wonderful energy of community spirit. 
I'm happy knowing money spent goes to help a not for profit group run by volunteers.
The funds raised support people with disabilities. 
Open times. Monday , Wednesday, Friday from 9am - 2pm
And the first Sunday of every month 9am to 2pm. 

Thursday, 14 May 2015

Are Psychics real ?

Are psychics real ? sometimes yes, many times no.  
say this from personal experience both as a client or reader. 
We're all psychic and intuitive but some of us follow it  through. There are periods in our 
lives we have deeply insightful experiences. An interest becomes a hobby, 
we do readings for friends, then start working. That's what happened to me.
As a child I had vivid dreams of dead grand parents talking to me in my sleep, I could naturally sense
or feel things, I was born with intuition like others are born athletes. I had these hunches about the future, i guessed what happen next to the discouragement around me.   
Though psychics and Tarot readings are shunned by strict Greek Orthodox religion, Turkish coffee 
cup readings where widely practiced by old aunties. We drank the thick slurpy tiny coffees then covered the cup with its plate, instantly tipping it upside down then turning it 3 times. 
We'd eat home made biscuits or cakes while we waited for the ground coffee to dry, 
creating a dark brown picture around the white cup. 
The magic began, in a room of mainly women as the audience, my great aunt Joanna held court, as she slowly focused, we could sense her intuition at work in long silent moments she started to read meaning into the pictures. If we didn't believe her, she would show us the tiny symbols , saying
" Look there's a plane, you're going on a trip. " or "There's a key, you're moving house." 
or " Theres a heart you're going to fall in love. " 
The time frame was decided by how far up or down the symbol was from the base. 
Past events where to the left side of the handle, future to the right side . 
What a time machine, accessed by imagination.
As a teenager a friends mother talked of a psychic she visited. Phyllis made sure I was an adult before I could get a reading. When  I turned 18 with great nervousness I visited Rhona a respected clairvoyant. She started the reading talking about my past, then made predictions, many of which came true. 
Going to psychics makes us vulnerable to suggestions we may subconsciously act on if we don't 
know what to do or are lost for a decision. This is risky. I knew I was on the right track by physical sensations such as a gut feeling, or the hair on my forearm suddenly rising. Psychics  may be good at reading your mind but thats different to making accurate predictions. 
Don't go to a psychic if you're feeling cynical or play mind games, you will only be upset. 
Psychics are a random act of gambling with no guarantee of results -they are inconsistent. The first reading is usually impressiive. They can misguide or mess your mind. Psychics can be incredibly accurate or totally crap by being too general. That's the risk. 
In early 1990s before the Internet, after a long economic recession, people in dispair searching for something deeper created a demand for anything alternative.
New age shops sprang up everywhere, crystal healing was all the rage, with insense sticks or 
books about personal growth and development. Out the back in every dimly lit corner was a 
psychic, they drew in the crowds, shops made extra money by charging commissions
on the readings to cover the rent. Many in the informal "Spiritual" work force were paid tax free in 
cash, this attracted people on welfare, or who couldn't get other forms of work. 
I joined a psychic group filled with eclectic people.  We would meditate, then do different psychic exercises to develop skills while we read for each other. This was a gymnasium for our third eye. We did tarot, astrology, tried mediumship - that's contacting the dead. Psychometry is holding a small personal item like jewellery to pick up vibes or messages, photo readings, remote health diagnosis etc.  After several months my intuition and perception became highly developed. 
Within a year I started working as a reader in one of those shops, aged only 30 doing Tarot. 
It was mentally draining work. Most of the clients wanted to know about romance, career and health.
 I devised new ways to get the information from the Tarot cards. The more readings I did the 
better I got. We called the regular clients " psychic junkies " they went from one reader to 
another or came to the same one multiple times. They where good for business but bad for morale. Unhappy clients had little consumer rights, legally this was classed as mere entertainment. 
This is why referrals by friends or reputation is important, but while one phychic my be good for them, they may not be the as good for you. 
Being so young didn't help because everyone expected a grey haired grandmotherly type. 
After several years I lost interest. The shops I worked in exploited readers, they booked clients back to back with no breaks when it was busy, or we sat there unpaid all day when it was quiet. I felt like a psychic sweat shop worker. The commissions rose from a reasonable 20% up to a hefty 45% I got tired of feeling I had to sort out people's problems, many of whom needed to see a therapist instead. 
I tried seeing clients at home, but that was worse, having all these strangers on my personal space, they'd come over, dump their bad Karma, wouldn't leave, or call at all hours. I realised it was a huge responsibility doing this, I wasn't always perfect, on bad day it was a guessing game,  yet felt I was playing God for $50 at a time, so I backed out. After my awakening I had a cold shower and 
returned to my fashion work. 
Are psychics real ?  Some times yes, but more often they aren't. 

Sunday, 10 May 2015

Gay Shame - why it still exists

Im gay -  I've been out to friends for 30 years, to family for 25, though everyone knew.  
It's 2015 but I still have to be discrete when travelling. I live in Sydney Australia, 
I know I can't wave the rainbow flag in many parts of the world.
Last year while travelling to the place my parents where born in the Greek part of Cyprus, 
it was exciting being there for their first ever Gay Pride.  
The northern Turkish occupied side of the island nation only a few months prior decriminalised homosexuality. I was shocked to find a massive demonstration protest march close by the gay pride crowd. These people where mainly religious church groups and conservative families. 
Massive banners saying gay people spread disease, separate the sexes, 
abuse children and have psychological problems. 
The protest crowd was fanatical in a way you won't see in other parts of the western world, 
but Cyprus is on the outer  edge of Europe only 50 km away from the Middle East, 
all through history part of its population was Muslim. 
A few blocks away was the Cypriot Gay Pride march. This was an incredible display of persistence
and unity.  The protesters where trying to do something so powerful -
They tried to make them feel Shame. That day it didn't work ! 
Despite political, legal, social progress, gay men on a personal , especially older ones 
still feel some sort of Shame for several reasons. 
Shame is a complex emotion we either create  within ourselves or absorb from society, family or our actions. Gay men don't talk about the shame we've  endured all our lives, it's a strong yet invisible 
emotion that's a touchy subject in the publicity driven Pride era. 
The shame starts when we're young, surrounded by maleness, our dads want us to become men,
male siblings might be competitive, the boys at school get aggressive. We feel compelled to prove our selves. Boys are taught you're not a man if you're gay, so we hide, don't feel comfortable in our skin, we can't accept ourselves, we hide in shame.  Many times shame is created through silence, it's all those things people don't say or ask. 
If people are cornered they say they accept us, with  the usual line of  "My best friend is gay." But if they're still uncomfortable, they don't ask us  "Do you have a partner?"  Or "Hows your love life?" 
Yet we are compelled to ask them about their lives. We secretly shame ourselves by pandering to
the whims of straight people in the quest for acceptance. 
If we sense we're not accepted by the energy or vibes people give off, we start to feel ashamed,
being discrete or cautious, this is how we're controlled. 
On the holiday last year to Cyprus, the only relative  who asked about my personal life was one 
Aussie born female cousin. At 49 everyone knows I'm gay, but they never ever ask about my life 
yet if I didn't ask them about their lives, there would be no conversation what so ever. 
When traveling to regional areas within Australian, I always find the gay population living in Shame or secrecy, sneaking around being annonymous There's not much Pride outside urban areas.
Back in the cities, Its funny all these obviously gay or camp friends claiming no one knows they're if it's no ones business yet everyone knows but they just don't care, again there's
an aspect of shame in not being open or honest. 
Gay men feel shame through a lack of  emotional acceptance on a personal level, even though society, and the law accepts is. Then we continue the cycle of shame by abusing each other on a sexual level
by treating each other as pieces of meat to be consumed for our narcistic desires of the flesh. 
Technology has helped gay men create even more shame. Casual sex may be a 24 hour all you can eat cyber instigated  buffet, but dating apps such as Grindr have made the whole process so instant, fast we've  become deeply impersonal , consumable, disposable. 
Even though mutually  consensual sex means less demand for prostituition, casual sex can still
feel exploitive for both people. Narcissim has little room for other people's emotions.  
Yes every day we see those gay couples walking down the isle, eager to tie the new knot, yet most couples I know in Sydney are all in opening relationships, that means more casual hook ups. 
I know this is a grey area, I'm not trying to pass judgment, I want to bring things to light from my own experiences. Gay men need to openly face each other ask ask if they are truly proud of the way they treat each other on the casual sex scene, or are they silently shameful ? Even though many are fighting 
for marriage equality, there is still home work to do in the dark corners on those saunas, sex clubs, or dating apps. We want full equality from society, yet our sexual interactions bind us in shame. 

Friday, 8 May 2015

How to place a curse. Magic for urban living.

I try to be a nice person and do all the right things. I sort of believe in God, but life  doesn't  
always go my way. Awful people arise, they  come into our lives with their own motivations. 
When powerless to change a situation, I get into  an urban magic mood. 
I do this occasionally, only when I really think, I truly know I've been wronged.
These deep thoughts, the sense of injustice is what causes the power to shift or change things. 
Life is a drama, we can take symbolic actions to create a new outcome. 
 Please be reasonable, don't be selfish, just look after yourself to get out of the mess. 
This really does work. Best time to place a curse is late at night just before bed.
On a small piece of clear white paper, write in thick  black texta  pen, the date, persons name,
 then the desired outcome. It could be 12.4.2015. Peter. Keep away from me !.
Signed your name.  Note please, I'm promoting good magic , not evil intentions. Don't wish bad
on others cause it might backfire, with something worse happening to you. Just wish for a bad
situation, or person to stop or go away. We may not all beleive in a God, but there is a greater 
cosmic energy  - apart from the Internet which keeps tabs on all of us ! 
Place the message in a clear tall glass drinking cup, fill with tap water, then as you place it in the
freezer- say out loud with power in your mind  "This is my wish, I deserve the outcome" and or 
" I command this come true " or something like that. Close  the freezer, go to bed and sleep. 
Now the magic starts. The freezing of the message is symbolic of the wish setting in, while we sleep our subconscious goes to work, it's powerful stuff. Leave the curse in the freezer until it comes true.
I believe as the water freezes the wish sets in , the other person will telepathically get the message in their subconscious as they sleep, then without knowing, act on it.  
It really works, but remember be realistic. 
One last point, by the way, please don't  tell them or others  about this, because it de- energises 
the whole thing, there is great power in secrecy. remember this is a battle between two sides , 
getting other people's minds involved could interfere in your desired outcome.
I like this curse cause it's very 21st centurary . In the past magic involved lighting fires,
but this is not a good idea, as most of us live in apartments so setting off a fire alarm is not a good

Monday, 4 May 2015

How Technology is Ruining us.

Technology is changing us, especially  young people for the worse. Dumbed down by smart  phones,  shorter attention spans , we won't  make eye contact, no longer  connect, the art of conversation is now on Facebook. Charm has all but  dried up, mainly used as a tool of manipulation when someone wants something . People are mentally connected yet physically apart . When I sit next to some one they're not there, it's just a body ,their minds sucked , drained ,  possessed  by their iPhones.
 We're remote  controlled robots. 
 In the age of i, there's less we, perception has diminished , narcism exploded. People are less physically grounded - walking  around in a complete daze , headphones on, unaware of the earthly environment.  No one acknowledges eachother,  saturated by technology - there's a lack of community in the new impersonal world. 
I recently did a blogging course, it was a lot of fun, it lead to writing this story , but I have a conspiracy we're being forced into technology, spending so much time communicating online  we're not actually living as much. 
People have this tasered distant look about them, like they're spun out. 
Information has replaced intuition. The screen has replaced the deep gaze into the eyes. 
Wifi is the only way to connect ? 
The love of our lives might be walking past us everyday, but we won't notice cause we're looking for love on a screen. 
If I spend most hours on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Instagram , etc, what time is left?
Publicity has replaced privacy. 
Morality declined due to the net. Dishonestly is tempting  knowing we won't 
 won't be held accountable for our  behaviour. Being tricked scammed or deceived 
Is the new norm. This erodes  a sense of  trust which creates  uncertaindy. 
We endlessly  txt or message people we don't know, will never meet, there's  less real time for 
 people who could be a deeper reassuring connection. 
The tide of ignorance on the street has made us invisible to one another. 
Teenagers abandoned by parents raised themselves  on a diet of iPhones or iPads.
Commitments on thin ice. We know opting out instantly of friendships online with out
Facing embarrassments. The Internet deludes us into thinking we're  friends 
with someone we've  chatted to for years, yet can block eachother. This is at the  expense
of  negotiation . It's all too easy but at a personal cost. 
We think people of people as buddies on Facebook, but what happens when we really need someone?
If we haven't been there physically  for others why would they be there for us? 
Information has replaced emotion at the expense of intuition. 
Many complex social skills of the past just don't exist in the minds of the new generation.
The typing has replaced talking ,  so lack heart  felt emotions,  a true sense of care have left people in an empty place.  I believe nowadays , many peoples souls are thinner than paper because the development of a deeper sense of self has been stalled or compromised by our lives online.
The  times we had nothing to do was important to ponder ourselves. 
Those empty spaces are gone. Filling the void created isolation. 
Google replaced God. 

Sunday, 26 April 2015

What a load of RUBBISH it's everywhere, it's complicated .

Everywhere I go rubbish everywhere , it's getting worse. Waverly council has collected more illegally dumped  crap in the first two months this year than the whole previous year. This is not surprising but  disturbing. Its  an upsetting site   seeing  things  thrown out which  aren't really rubbish, its stuff people just don't want anymore , it might be out of fashion , they  could be updating , so they dump it, obviously few think of  re-using, re-cycling, donating to charities, or not to buy the stuff in the first place. It's a transient accommodation world now, especially with hundreds of thousands of foreign students annually living here in Australia. 
Thanks to our a insatiable thirst for constant mindless consumption at places like Kmart , Target, IKEA etc, we're hyper shoppers , with no thought of  the long term environmental repercussions. At  7 billion people around how much longer can this go on for ? It's   unsustainable.
Sadly most things we buy are made in China or by third world exploited labour.
There are too many ethical issues to deal with . Anything we buy just doesn't last long anymore, so even if we don't won't to keep shopping, we have no choice....
I know from personal experience - donating is a hassle at times. I  take most items  to Salvstion Army or St Vincent De Paul charity stores, it's an effort I love to make , many others won't. Larger items such as furniture need to be picked up by their  trucks - yes it's a hassle to make an  appointment , being there for the collection, worse still when those charities claim my donation is not good enough !!! So we keep on dumping , on the streets  non stop, yet every time I see these mountains of rubbish I get so upset. I feel guilty cause we just don't love the planet...we are shitting on Mother Nature. One day maybe not now, but our next generation will be cursing us for  mindless selfishness. 
I feel after we dumped God, after we stopped believing in something bigger than us, we turned inwards in the age of narrisstic self focused consumption. At least religion didn't destroy the oceans.
We are heading for environmental disaster. I worry nothing will be done till it's too late. 
The answer is a combination of ethics and regulations. 
Local government councils collect the rubbish to dump it in tips. We need to pay a dumping fee added onto the cost of every thing we buy, like an environmental tax, so if it's $10, at the till it's an extra 2-5 % added. maybe working for welfare  program could extend to recycling at the tips, or where it's being picked up. Maybe the good stuff dumped can be taken to places where people can pic it up for free to either re use or resale for free. Let's create a smart phone app, take a pic of what you no pager want, leave it outside with its location, then it can get picked up by who ever wants it? 
We need to start education programs at schools about how happiness is not about buying more stuff unless we really need it, happiness is about experiences , not consumption.  Show videos of the exploited workers seeing away for those terrible dangerous conditions in far way lands...I can tell you as a Greek, making people feel guilty goes a long way.
We can give tax deductions to companies which  make biodegradable products, then put extra taxes on the parts or materials in the products that are non recyclable. 
Like cigarette packaging , every product or clothing sold needs a sticker on it with an environmental impact statement on it. 
We need to allow an army of   " Rubbish Reduction" volunteers allowed to roam freely into any shopping centre or store to confront consumers or question their purchases. Why are you buying this?
do you really need it ? What will happen to it when you're finished with it? How will you dispose of it? 
All products need an environmental impact statement based on materials, length of use, dumping etc, to come in a final rating of 1- 100 on also added to the base of each sales docket. 
Technology needs to work with social media, we need to develop a mind frame that's it's cool to re use , recycle or share .  Maybe we can not throw good  things out till we find someone to give them too. 
Let's face it, this is radical politics here at work, saving the planet means less consumption, equals less rubbish, this goes against the supply and demand economy. Ideally let's raise the wages in the third world, if we pay more we would hopefully consume less.
All that rubbish on my street is a global issue, yet I worry nothing will be done till it's too late...
Maybe  future climate change will cause massive disasters, I believe we'll be so spooked
Our collective energies will be about saving the environment , that's when the age of consumption will be over. The changes we need now won't happen till the are forced upon us later. 

Monday, 20 April 2015

No More Eye Contact - Welcome to The New Impersonal Society.

Eye contact....
There's less and less of it. Have you noticed ? Is this defence mechanism due to over population ? 
Last year in London I was cramped on those crowded tubes, everyone was automatically avoiding
eye contact. I guess this is a way of giving each other psychic space. 
Our  attention has gone from others people  to be zapped by technology, iPhones, iPads , tablets. 
These distractions have come at a social cost, in particular to young people who look tasered. 
I remember as a child, one of our greatest fears of the future was being Zombies, worried we 
would be inserted with a computer chip under our skin, to be controlled by computers. 
Hello, that's exactly what's we've volunteered to do. 
More and more people are almost agressively ignoring eachother. What ever happened to the days when there was this sense of belonging when we acknowledged eachother, smiled , said hello to total strangers , enjoyed the sense of creating a feeling of connection through constant small acts of niceness. This was the nurturing eggs which bonded society. 
It seems now we only make eye contact when we need or have to, mostly in business, work, shops or restaurants when we are paid to or paying for ....the over focus on consumerism is leading to a lack
of compassion on a subtle level. Consumption is about me, compassion is about we. 
I believe a lack of eye contact compromises our natural perception or intuition. If we avoid eye contact, how do we go deeper into the window of ones soul ? we need to asses the other persons  intentions or motivations to protect ourselves . It's not just about filling a multiple choice selection online to determine decisions . I don't trust people who can not make deep eye contact for at least a few seconds, I feel wary, it's a warning  they are not sincere. 
Personally it's most upsetting to see how offended people are if you even look at them at all , for more than a split second. This age of being overly self focused has contributed to selfishness, social isolation and depression, inparticular  in younger people who in my experience 
are only adorable when they want something. 
So get over it , start looking at eachother and for heavens sake smile then say hello !!! 

Saturday, 18 April 2015

Gay Sauna Sydney, Yianni Zinonos tells what's going on in this hidden sex culture.

We have all heard  of "Gay Saunas " especially in the last couple of years with the recent sex scandals. 
Few of the mainstream public know enough about what's going on there.
Yes I'm gay and I'm out. I want to tell you more about these places. These are the homo harems 
Of today, though they have been around for thousands of years, the first gay sauna in Sydney was  discretely opened as a place called KKK or Kens Karate Klub about 40 years ago, it closed up 3 years ago. 
Now 49 - I went to Kens for the first time in 1985 - 30 years ago after hearing about this place from 
My first gay friend Neil. I was fascinated, all this was new and  close by.
The first time I walked up those stairs of this non descript  place I was a nervous wreck. I had only just came out , like many men  I wanted  to find out. I'm grateful to still be around to tell this tale.
 Safe sex does work. 
During the AIDS crisis of the  80s these places  where seen as no go zones of risky disease spreading outcomes. I will never forget the sight of dying friends or the fear becoming infected . No one ever even talked about these places let alone admitted going. Even amongst fellow gays, you where shunned as a degenerative slut by your social peers. There where codes of secret silence of which still survive today.
Of the 3  remaining saunas still in operation today in Sydney, the busiest one is at 357 Sussex Str in the City near Chinatown, called Sydney City Steam commonly known by locals as simply 357. The number mentioned alone is a sort of discrete code. 
This place has a story I want to tell. This is where men go to have sex with other men, though many of those men are not "Gay" or "out" . It's a melting pot of young, old, gay, bi, closeted, curious, married , in closed or open relationships, tourists or out of towners. From high earning professionals to the unemployed everyone is civilly mixed in. 
Despite all this new technology of hook-up apps or online dating , these places are incredibly busy.
Saunas have this physical immediacy about them. There is this male bonding thing going on. 
After paying at the secure reception, you're given a key to your locker and a towel, the first area looks like a gym, get undressed then wrap the towel around your waist,  walk around the maze of 4 levels. First thing to do is have a shower, then there's the steam room, sauna, toilets. Up one level is a movie room showing constant porn off course.
Guys are either chilling out,   though generally frantically running around looking to forefil their desires. When it's busy there may be up to 200 patrons , either soaking in the hot tub or steam , or  searching for the physical partner. There are plenty of cubicles or tiny rooms just big enough for a single or double vynal  covered mattress to go in once you've found one or more partners. 
There are several areas public or private to have sex in. Suanas are places of exibition where men can fuck or wank  then shower together, there are many guys who only do sex in front of others either one to one or in groups with an audience or not. Then there's the dark room where it's not just group sex but Anonymous as well, or the glory holes where the penis is shoved through a hole in a wall to be sucked by total strangers. Yes I know this may sound a bit much but not everyone does everything. There's a lot of soft sex amongst the heavy scenes.
Guys are coming and going at all hours, the busiest times for the openly gay are Friday , Saturday nights or Sunday afternoons. The more discrete customers come at all other times. There is a 24 hour limit per visit,  yes you can get free unlimited pass outs. No I don't own a share in this business ! Despite writing this article I'm not there all the time !!! 
The suana culture goes against the public's  currently  politically motivated image of gays petitioning for  marriage equality ,complete with surrogate kids on the way.
 Saunas are the secrete men's business, the man cave.....
Love can be found for some in between the predatory lust. The great thing about saunas is the absence of prostitution , there's no exploitation, its all mutual. So maybe male to male sex is a bit more evolved than Straight sex. Nudity is democratising, it becomes more about the other stuff like their age,
Ethnicity, body, image, vibe, persona. Body language replaces conversations here. 
Saunas can be social, there are plenty of gangs of friends, you can be chatty.  
Some guys virtually live there, lingering around for many hours chilling out. 
Most  have fantasies about the type of guy they're  into,   some so open minded anything goes. Generally it seems once the sex is done that's it, no matter how good it was, for many there is no social integration after that, though there are many regulars you may bump into. You may have sex with multiple men who you would never introduce to your friends, there's a lot of odd instant coupling. 
My observations say 20% are Bi, 30% in relationships , and the rest single. 
Yes there is safe and unsafe sex , it's obvious. It's about individual responsibility, there are free condoms and  STI testing on site. With the new HIV preventing drugs lately we've entered a new  era of unprotected anal sex again, though this does not save you from all those other nasty STIs.
There  are many men who would still never want anyone to know they go to saunas, because they are straight , married, in relationships, not out ,in denial or just ashamed of them selves. There is 
Still a stigma around them. It's not the kind of thing you mention to your mum or straight friends you've done when they ask what you did last night. 
One of my friends funnily enough refers to saunas as "Day Spas". And even claims them of his private health insurance fund. 
There is still the Shaming aspect about all this because people who do saunas are seen as sex addicts, though I feel shame is about how we treat each other, if we've treated others fairly and accept our selves , we have nothing to feel shame for, but many of us feel it because we are made to, or because our actions are not widely accepted. The darker side of the sex scene is the self obsession or narcissim, men - gay or straight seeking  the flesh  unfortunately forgetting the person under the skin, after a while leaving us numb.  The sex scene can make everyone feel like discarded peices of meat , with little consideration for other person's emotions in the pursuit of our self focused impulsive desires, and this is what mainstream society does not fully encourage or accept. 
Thank you for reading. * This is my first serious story for my new Blog.